The truth revealed

After our possible last trip, I had been sending plenty of messages and tried calling you. You cancel my call or your line is busy every time I called you or you didn't reply my messages. I felt that something was not right. It is not the usual way how we used to communicate. We at least give each other a message or call almost daily but it has been 5 days already and I haven't talk to you. So I took the initiative to text you and it goes like that.

"Hey, Happy New Year! How are u? Haven't been talking to you. Have u started your medication?"

"I'm ok. Don't wanna talk"

"Ok.. Hope u're fine. I'll be available for u if u need me. Will take a month break from work to rest and look for new job to start in feb. Take care"

"I actually heard what u said on that night u were drunk. I am very hurt and disappointed. I treat u like a true sister but in return it is some other form of Rship to u, regardless it is in your conscious or unconscious mind. Honestly I have fear towards u now, whenever I think about it.. Maybe we should stop seeing each other personally for sometime, I do not know how to face u.. If anythg official, u may still text me. I will reply u."

"I actually knew that u heard but since u said u didn't, I didn't want to repeat it again. I regretted saying that to u but that's the truth that I can't explain. I tried very hard convincing myself to treat u like my sister and I didn't want u to know the truth. I thought that being with someone else might change the truth and stop me from thinking of u. I already predicted that this will happen and I know it's hard for u to accept it. I had been forgetting this feeling long time but it came back again. I'm very sorry I hurt u. I'm really sorry that I let u down. I hope u can keep this within us as I told u before. Sorry again."

After sending all these messages, instantly I felt that my heart and soul was falling apart. I can't believe that this is happening to me. My tears were about to roll down naturally but I managed to hold and swallow it back as my boyfriend is next to me. The pain in my heart was unbearable. I was crying hard in my heart but I have to show a poker face on the outside. I find it hard for me to face him after telling you the truth. I also felt very bad for adding more complications to your already-complicated-life.

Whether or not we stay apart, I'll still remember the good times we had and our interests in common.



- I Do Cherish You -