Heartbroken and alone

Why do you have to treat me like this? What have I done wrong? Did you punish me like this because I'm in love with you? I have never done and will never do anything to harm you. There are plenty of other people who fancy you as well but why am I the exception? Just because I'm a girl? I didn't like any other girls except you. You're not being fair to me. I didn't hope for anything or any further progress. I just want you to know the truth and I didn't want to lie to you. Actually the main cause for me to think or realized that I fall for you is the people around you. Everyone has been warning you and saying to you that I might be a lesbian. The fact is I didn't even think of it at all until you kept teasing me continuously and I got confused with the statement and started questioning myself.

I only want us to be like how we used to be. I don't mind you being with another person and I also hope that you can be happy. Everything I do for you, I only want to see you happy. I can do anything for you. I really mean anything. Is this like the old Chinese saying that you give a shoe to someone means you're sending that person away from your life? Both of us didn't even think of this issue at all until I realized recently you bought me a shoe and this incident happened.

Yesterday, I already chase my boyfriend out of my house. It's getting more and more difficult for me to face him. To the extend I didn't want to make love with him anymore. I just can't do it and I need some space on my own. The fact that you are deserting me are too hard for me to accept. I kept telling you not to desert me because I know you will do so one day. It is so heart breaking to hear you saying that.

Since the day you told me that you heard the truth, I already predicted that you will ask me to give you back your house keys. It is just a matter of when. Yesterday when I got your message and before I read it, I already know that you were going to ask about the keys. You even asked me to pass everything to your mum and you have to send another text 'I mean everything'. I was really saddened and I couldn't sleep but to continue to assemble the pig puzzle till 8.30am.

My biggest wish for the year is to reconcile with you and be together again as sisters like how we used to be. Every time I assemble the pieces of puzzle, reminds me of the times we used to had assembling puzzle together at your old resident.





I'm half way done assembling your pig puzzle. Hopefully I can frame it up before end of the month.

-I Do Cherish You-