During the trip, I was over-joyed being there with you although there's nothing much to do. We had a nice aromatherapy massage on the first day together which makes our body muscle relaxes. Maybe because of the massage, we are able to sleep soundly at night and wake up happily the next morning. Our mood was as good as the years before. Taking pictures happily together, enjoying the beautiful scenery and taking an afternoon nap as usual. It's a rather relaxing and stress-free trip with you. I never felt as happy as this in my life before. I know that it's only my one-sided love and you only treat me as your little sister but I can't help but to think of sharing my love with you.
But as good time passed, I decided to take some beer after dinner which triggers me and started to bring my emotions to actions. I was trying so hard to control myself from telling you the truth but I can't. I know that if I don't tell you the truth when I'm unconscious, I won't have the chance to tell you when I'm conscious again. I know what I'm doing. I know that I'm hugging and babbling to tell you that I'm in love with you and I know it is impossible for us to be together. I always thought that by having an ordinary relationship with another person would make me forget about you. The truth is even though I've been in another relationship, I still won't be able to let you go. I missed you so much that I wanted to hug and kiss you when I'm unconscious. I remember your responses to my every words and actions. You seem to understand what I'm babbling but you didn't bother to ask clearly. We both ended up sleeping restlessly and it seems like I had ruined our final night of the trip.
While we have breakfast in the morning, you kept asking me what happened the night before but I couldn't open up my mouth to tell you what happened but to say that I forgotten what happened. You kept telling me that you didn't understand what I was trying to tell you but in my heart I know that you understand what I'm trying to tell you. You told me that you frustrated that you couldn't sleep well because of my crazy drunken behavior. It really breaks my heart to hear you saying that. I really hope that you heard what I said. You told me that you wouldn't go drink with me again and you might not go for another trip with me again.
While we were on the way back to our home, I couldn't say a word with you because of the disappointment I have in my heart. We were supposed to take a day break and go for another trip the next day together. After you told me that you decided to go alone instead, I was really saddened and speechless. I was too disappointed to do anything the whole day. Even when I meet my boyfriend, I don't feel the excitement. My body belongs to the man sleeping next to me but my heart and soul is with you all the while missing and thinking of you. Nobody can ever replace your position in my heart.
This might be our last trip together but I will still cherish it every moment I spent with you. I'll always love you.
The place where we took our pictures.
The heart-shaped purple flower plant that represents my love to you.
The rock that we had hardship together.
I Do Cherish You
